Friends are particularly important in our lives. They are like the soil surrounding our purpose and if the soil ain’t right, don’t expect the plant to grow. Just recently in church, the pastor where I worship introduced a series on strategic relationships and I feel it couldn’t have come at a better place in my life and the timing is almost perfect.
It’s said that you can’t be richer than your network. Your contacts determine your connection. This goes further to explain that you don’t need a zillion dollars in your bank account more than you need good people around. As a matter of fact what comes after God is people. If you have God but you don’t have people, you’re running on a deficit.
This is a post for you to evaluate the people you have in your life. It’s time to examine the friends around your life. It’s more practical than thinking it through. Last year, I listened to a sermon “grounded in friends” by Bishop TD jakes and it kick started what I’d like to call, meaningful friendships. I would summarize that sermon soon but there are practical steps I took after I listened to that message. I wrote down all the friends I thought I had, I ticked off some people on that list not that I literally stopped talking to them but I limited the information I passed out to these people. For TD jakes sermon, he said as someone with a purpose in life, there are 3 key friends you might but it’s your job to seperately the chaff from the wheat
- Confidantes: There are very few Confidantes you have in you’re life time. These people are always there for you. They are there for the long haul, where the chips are down they’re there. They might not fully understand why they are sticking with you but they can’t help than glide into you’re purpose. They cry with you in the hard times and laugh with you during your. Jesus had confidantes among his disciples. You’re blessed when you have these people in your life.
- Constituents: These set of friends are for what you believe. They are there because they believe in what you believe. They are there as long as you don’t dive into believing something else rather than the first. They will walk, labour with you but they are not for you but what you’re for. Sometimes you could mistake you’re constituents for your confidantes. You have to know that because if they meet someone else that will further their agenda, they will leave you and hook up with them because they were never for you. They were just for what you were for. They are your constituents. Throughout your life, particularly if you are broken, you will mistake your constituents for your confidants. You’ll think they are for you when they are simply for whay you are for and by the time you get through falling in love with them they will break your heart as they hook up with someone else who is for what you are for because it was never about you anyway. You must be very careful to pinpoint people who are there just for what they can benefit from you.
- Comrades: They are against what you’re against but will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy. They will only be with you until the victory is achieved. These people are like scaffolding, only useful for a short period and when they have the victory, they leave the door and leave you totally confused. They come into your life to fulfill a purpose, but when the purpose is completed, the scaffolding is removed. Don’t be upset when the scaffolding is removed because the building always remains.
It’s proper to do a self examination to discover friends who might not benefit your next level in life. Friends who only milk you and leave you dry afterwards. You need to feed from something so you can feed others. You can’t keep letting others drain you without refilling. I had to eliminate some friends who won’t agree to my purpose or understand where I’m going. I don’t blame them for that though because we have different paths in life and I can’t choose their opinions for them. I’m in this stage of my life where I’ve learnt over the years to choose my friends wisely. I choose people that I can learn from and have similar purpose as mine. I encourage you today to examine you’re friends and rediscover your purpose in alignment to the friends you’ve chosen.